Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I haven't been blogging much because I have so little to blog about beyond my health, which is boring. The Eavon Boland class was interesting, I haven't really sorted it out yet--I mean, it was most useful for reminding my brain what it's like to have that immediate feeling of a critical eye on my work. The work of poetry is all within the poem, and the effect is all without, and sometimes it can be hard to keep a handle on how that ratio plays out. But truth be told, beyond what it was the day was worthwhile for how it showed itself up as an empty experience. To use an entirely inappropriate comparison, like a one-night stand. I need someone who respects my poetry, and can offer consistent criticism, and so on. Someone I can reciprocate with, dammit!

I need that kind of relationship, but I just don't think I have room for it in my life now. You know the story.

Could someone get me a beer? I think I'm getting misty.

I hope you're doing OK, Stuart. I miss hearing from you. Health blogging would be Ok.
Thank you, Laura. Actually, I'm doing pretty good, all things considered. The winter is hard on me, but unlike the previous three winters, where I've had a total crash when it gets really cold, I seem to have enough depth of energy to absorb the hits, so to speak, without collapsing. That I'm coherent at all (and enough to complain about not having enough energy for reading and blogging) is a victory, really. I can see how I'm getting better, a little at a time, but it is weird to be getting better constantly for 3 & a half years, and still be really really fragile. The concept of jogging seems inhuman, not much different to me than that of flapping my arms and flying.

Like two years ago, I gave a reading at the Speakeasy in NY on March 9, and I really wasn't out of bed, except for when I absolutely had to be, until June. I really have to moderate my stress levels, but now so much less than the absolutely restrictive levels I used to operate under. Being able to go into NY for an event without paying for it in long-term health is a great sense of freedom, actually. I guess I complain because I want to be 'normal' again, like, now.

Well, needless to say, I really appreciate your response, by the way. Thank you.
I'm sorry to hear you haven't been well, but I'm glad to hear that you're recovering. BTW congratulations to you, D & J on your impending arrival. :-)

Thank you! It's kind of a weird thing to post on a blog, so I kind of hid it in the comments. You got around that awkwardness more cleverly, I think.
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